What a shock this morning, I was woken in the early hours by someone I didn't know!

Frog marched, or rather cow plod I went. Leaving the warmth and comfort of my cosy office which I share with my dedicated keepers, Kirsten and Jacqui. I'm missing them already, but then they will insist on calling me Toby! Well hello girls... I'm a cow not a bull.

Blindfolded and bundled in to a vehicle I left at high speed, at first trying to keep track of the turns my kidnapper took but I had to give up, it was driving me insane, yes I was becoming a mad cow. Why did no one ever think of mobile phones for cows? I could have called someone and let them know I was on the moooove.

I'm not sure where I am, but it's dark and I think my kidnapper is asleep.

Please, just pay the ransom, I'm not sure whats going to happen to me.

Oh look.... some grass Mmmmmm yum

On behalf of Kernow Cow